Quick to Listen, Slow to Speak

Bamidbar {22:2} Balak the ben (son of) Zippor saw all that Yisrael (Israel) had done to the Amorites. {22:3} Moav (Moab) was sore afraid of the people, because they were many: and Moav was distressed because of the bnei Yisrael (Children of Israel). {22:4} Moav said to the elders of Midian, Now will this multitude lick up all that is round about us, as the ox licks up the grass of the field. Balak the ben Zippor was king of Moav at that time. {22:5} He sent messengers to Bilaam (Balaam) the ben B'or, to Pethor, which is by the River, to the land of the bnei of his people, to call him, saying, Behold, there is a people come out from Mizrayim (Egypt): behold, they cover the surface of the earth, and they abide over against me. {22:6} Please come now therefore curse me this people; for they are too mighty for me: peradventure I shall prevail, that we may strike them, and that I may drive them out of the land; for I know that he whom you bless is blessed, and he whom you curse is cursed.

You know, sometimes perception is not always reality. Bnei Yisrael was still in the wandering mode when they arrived at the boarder to Moav. The battles they fought until this point were not for the conquest of Canaan. Canaan was west of the Yardan (Jordan) and bnei Yisrael, were at this point, east of the Yardan. The battles they fought were because each one of the kings refused to allow them to pass through their land. In each case as well Yisrael was not the aggressor. The truth of the matter is, if the Amorites had allowed Yisrael access through their land they would have paid for the right and the end result for the Amorites would have been positive. Instead they chose to attack Yisrael which resulted in their own destruction and Yisrael taking possession of their land.

Now in Parsha Balak Yisrael we read that the bnei Yisrael are camped at the boarder with Moav. Remember now they are still on the east side of the Yarden. Moav is not their objective; they were still in their wandering mode on their way, roundabout, to Canaan. Had Balak the king of Moav sent emissaries to speak with Moshe (Moses) and Aharon (Aaron) they would have profited from Yisrael traversing their land. Yisrael was not a threat to Moav. However they were perceived as such by Balak and instead of sending emissaries to Moshe and Aharon with a message of peace, Balak sent emissaries to Bilaam with a message of war.

Notice from verse two and three of chapter twenty two, we are told that it was because of what Balak had seen Yisrael do to the Amorites that made him afraid and distressed. However he did not know the circumstances of the battle. Had he taken the time to investigate the circumstances he could have saved himself and his people a lot of grief. What He thought was a threat was really not a threat at all and his lack of diplomacy came back to bite him. Balak was not a good leader; he did not properly represent his peoples’ interest.

Sometimes perception is not reality. The way we perceive things may not always be the way they really are. We learnt this lesson last Shabbat (Sabbath) when we studied the Haftarah (reading from the writings of the prophets) Shoftim (Judges) chapter eleven. I guess HaShem wanted me to teach on this subject again, perhaps because you needed to hear it again or perhaps I do. Whichever the case there is an important lesson for all of us to learn here.

None of us should ever jump to conclusions. We are never to be like Balak and make assumptions, thinking the worst and then in ignorance, without knowledge make rash, perhaps disastrous decisions. Before you make any decision or before you take any action all the circumstances and the facts should be known concerning the situation or subject at hand. Rash decisions based on perception or fear might ultimately lead to your destruction. This advice is of paramount importance for those in leadership, but it applies equally to every one of us. Sometimes simply by asking you can find out information and understand circumstances which in the end can save you from making the wrong decision. Fear of a perceived enemy motivated Balak to hire Bilaam, however in reality Yisrael was not a threat to Moav.

How many times have you acted out of fear without first finding out all the facts? How many times have your perceptions not been reality and because of your decision, based simply on your unwillingness to ask, to take the time to care, it resulted in making a miscalculation?

I am reminded here of a story I once heard about a waitress. She was serving a group of hungry patrons and because she was forgetful and didn’t bring them everything they ordered and because she was slow and seemingly uninterested in her work, they were nasty and indignant towards her, chastising her for the poor service. Their tip of course reflected their disfavour when they left. However one member of the group took a little initiative and a lot of interest and while the others of the party were leaving he went up to the waitress and asked her if she was alright. The waitress broke down in tears. Her daughter had run away form home the night before and she was worried sick about her. She would have taken the day off, but because she had already missed work a few times over her personal problems, the job, which she desperately needed, was already in jeopardy. So reluctantly she felt that she had to come to work. She apologized to the patron, he prayed for her and for the safe return of her daughter.

I can not verify the authenticity of this story but it sure does drive home the point I want to make!

Ya’acov (James) {1.19} Wherefore, my beloved mishpocha (brethren), let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.

Rabbi Jack "Yaacov" Farber is the spiritual leader of Congregation Melech Yisrael in Toronto, Canada.

Copyright 2004